Hey. Dana here. I recently invited paying subscribers of Sober Soulful to “ask me anything.”
Find the first sets of questions and responses (on open marriage and relationships, my top practices for managing anxiety, and becoming a health practitioner) here and (on micro and macro psilocybin use in sobriety) here.
Sticking with the “sober on drugs” theme, today’s AMA tackles:
“How do you feel about the whole Cali sober thing? Can you use THC and still call yourself sober?”
Before I respond, a reminder that I keep the bulk of these AMAs paywalled.
I’m wary of “answers” but will share my personal reflections, experience, and heart. If you’re a paying subscriber and wish to add your query to the pile, email: hello@danaleighlyons.com. Anything goes!
If you’re not a paying subscriber, I still appreciate you! Thank you for being here, and don’t worry—you’ll still receive at least one free essay in its entirety every week. Here’s the latest (on male creepers, tween Swifties, and a Chinese Medicine take on anger). If you do want full access, upgrade here:
Last thing! A kind reminder to please refrain from offering advice unless I (or anyone else in this space) specifically and directly requests it. Please do feel invited to share your experience as pertains to you. Thank you. I love you.
“How do you feel about the whole Cali sober thing? Can you use THC and still call yourself sober?”
For those who don’t know, the term “Cali sober” is often used to describe folks who are sober from alcohol but use cannabis.
There are other variations on how that term is used. There are also big opinions as to whether someone who uses any cannabis in any form is sober.
Important Note: Cannabis includes various compounds, but I’m focusing on THC in this AMA. For way more information on cannabis from a scientific, research-based perspective (including its various chemical constituents, the biological mechanisms underlying its effects on the body and mind, strain differences, how cannabis affects males versus females, medicinal applications, who should NOT use cannabis because of higher risk of paranoia and psychosis or other side effects, why the age at which you start and stop using cannabis is important, how the form of administration impacts effects and risks, etc.), tune into Dr. Andrew Huberman here.
I can’t stress enough that this is a drug. It can have devastating consequences if not approached with individual-specific information, awareness, and caution. Same, by the way, goes for alcohol—which Huberman discusses here.
Whether we’re talking THC or other mind-altering drugs (prescribed pharmaceuticals included):
Recovery and sobriety look different for everyone.
You are responsible for your sobriety and recovery.
You are not responsible for other people’s sobriety and recovery.
One person’s medicine is another’s poison.
Before questioning anyone else’s sobriety, take a close, compassionate look at your own ways of dimming or checking out. (Directing this reminder at myself as much as anyone else.)
The primary reason for centring my personal experience on Sober Soulful relates to everything above. My sobriety and recovery is something I can speak to; other people’s sobriety and recovery is, ultimately, none of my business.
In answering today’s question, I’m not offering advice or recommendations (except perhaps to proceed with an abundance of caution, research, and clarity before consuming any mind-altering substances).
Instead, I’ll share my experience of using (low-dose, precisely measured, methodically administered) THC in sobriety.
First, some context.
I write a lot about alcohol, cocaine, and disordered eating in this space. I’m gratefully sober from all three. Further:
I’m not on Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, or X and have a barebones presence on LinkedIn and Instagram.
I haven’t watched television or streaming since 2019.
I take great care to avoid most social media, online shopping, and other consumption patterns that are addictive and (for me) harmful.
I do not overeat, binge eat, or eat foods that make me feel worse rather than better.
I do not take pharmaceuticals other than Advil on rare occasion (a few times a year).
I do take edible THC before bed for sleep. I do drink (too much) coffee. I do find myself deeply addicted to overwork, email checking, obsessive-compulsive patterning, and external approval.
I mention all this to put my (very limited, very methodical) THC use in context. Sobriety for me isn’t about one thing, and recovery will never be finished.
It’s also not equivalent to abstinence (although I do consider abstinence from alcohol a prerequisite). More on that here:
All to say: I consider myself sober, and I take THC. I am still wildly addicted to coffee and various behaviours. I do not consider myself dependent on THC; I stick with a specific (low) dose and do not use it to get high.
I won’t veer far from personal experience or say much on the research, but I want to state again that THC is a drug, is addictive, and does have consequences. I personally know of folks who are addicted to THC and have suffered greatly as a result.
For whatever reason, THC has never been the key that fits my drug-of-choice lock:
I used it only a few times before getting sober from alcohol and other drugs (and turned it down nearly always, finding it distasteful and disliking its effects).
I hate the feeling it gives me if I take even slightly too much.
I never, ever smoke or vape cannabis or anything else—I love my lungs!
For even more context, know that I don’t take THC as a quick, easy way out. Every day, without exception, I:
Practice at least two (usually more) hours of yoga (90 minutes in a live class, more on my own).
Practice at least 30 minutes of seated meditation after dinner and before bed.
Journal and write (for myself, outside of paid writing work).
Savour meals of nourishing, nutrient-dense, whole food eaten in silence and extra slow.
I’d give up THC long before any of the above. For more details on my daily routines, head here:
Honestly? If you’re in recovery and not already using THC, I probably wouldn’t recommend starting.
Same goes for coffee. Also processed food full of additives and sugar.
Still, we’re adults here. If we set aside societal norms, denial, justifications, and excuses, we know what’s helpful versus unhelpful. We know what’s expansive versus extinguishing. We are in charge of—and responsible for—what we put in and do to our bodies. We know if its worth the tradeoffs and toll on this one precious life.
All that is true.
AND, if someone were choosing between edible THC and alcohol and asked my opinion, I’d recommend THC every time. Alcohol is massively toxic, addictive, and harmful to our mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. It also fuels anger, aggression, suicide, and violence. The fact that it’s long been legal and THC’s just getting there floors me.
AND, if I personally had to choose between taking THC or a pharmaceutical (Adderall, OxyContin, Xanax, Zoloft, etc.), I would choose THC. No question. Not that those examples target the same things—just saying that I consider THC’s impact on me personally, in my body-mind, less dangerous than things many folks take on the regular.
AND, zero judgement if you’d choose otherwise. Your body and mind are different than mine. Your body, your mind, your choice.
I mention all this to underscore that we as a society tend to sanction (and celebrate) certain drugs while vilifying others—substances as well as behaviours.
What the collective considers “good” or “bad” has little to do with research-backed assessment of side effects and risks. It has way more to do with: 1. capitalism, exploitation, and profit, 2. classism and racism, and 3. folks not wanting people to call out their drug of choice (alcohol, overeating, and Adderall, for instance).
I don’t subscribe to those norms. I consider everything I do and consume within a larger context. Within that context, I weigh the impact on my body-mind-spirit.
I also ask: Is this helpful or unhelpful? Connecting or disconnecting? As in: Is it connecting to my true self and what I hold most dear? Is connecting to others in the sense of true intimacy—intimacy not dependent on a shared drug of choice?
But before I wander further down those prickly paths, back to the matter at hand: Whether and how I use THC—including timing, effects, cautions, and caveats.
Let’s take a look.