Sobriety Series: Tax Season Edition
Sobering times…are quite the time to be sober.
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Dearest Reader,
Well, here we are: Tax season. It’s a sobering time…and quite the time to be sober.
Before quitting alcohol, I’d make my way through difficult, dread-inducing times by leaning into the mantra: Well, at least there’ll be wine with dinner.
Envisioning that full glass of red at the end of the day brought renewed-if-false energy and a sense of relief. And just to make sure I earned it, I’d push through overwork, exhaustion, worry, and fear. I’d tell myself: Well, at least there’ll be wine with dinner.
Then, when dinner arrived, I’d pour the wine, sit down with my meal, and exhale. Finally, a few moments of peace. Finally, a precious half hour to push pause on the worry.
I probably don’t need to tell you how this played out. I’d feel that well-deserved relief for twenty, maybe thirty minutes. And then, right on cue, an even larger wave of anxiety would crash over and pull me under.
Chasing the relief I’d felt earlier, I’d pour a second glass. But alas, it never quite worked. That’s how it goes with alcohol: The high lasts the first thirty minutes, levels out, then follows a predictable arc—one that leads to more worry, more dread, more anxiety, and often more anger or weepiness.
But that’s not even the worst of it. Because drinking not only makes stress and anxiety worse, it disrupts sleep (yes, even one glass), which has a profound impact on physical health, mental health, and overall energy, clarity, strength, and resilience. Plus, if you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, guilt and shame come along with it. None of this leaves us well resourced to deal skillfully with difficult times. It does the opposite. It guarantees the odds are not in our favour.
And so it went: I’d drink one glass. I’d drink two. And the next morning, after a night of shitty sleep, I’d wake with less energy, less clarity, more dread. I’d pull through another hard day telling myself: Well, at least there’ll be wine with dinner.
I did this when worrying about money and taxes. I did this when surviving being left and divorce. I did this during seasons of overworking, underearning, and having no chance of taking a breather or getting my bearings. Well, at least there’ll be wine with dinner.
No surprise that this pattern didn’t help anything. I mean sure, those thirty minutes each evening were nice. But they were thirty minutes out of twenty-four hours. The other 1,410 minutes? Not stellar and definitely made worse by the drinking.
Problem is, getting out of this cycle can be really, really hard. For one, alcohol is profoundly addictive. For another, consuming it on a regular basis or in any significant quantity leaves us more depleted, less resourced, and less capable of making supportive choices and changes. Even in moments of clarity and knowing what we want and need, our system is hijacked, hooked, and working against us.
Add money woes? And taxes? And whatever else is piling onto that mound of worry and dread? In those times, it’s pretty compelling to say: “Yeah…I’ll quit or cut back back on booze later. This isn’t a good time—I have so much going on. I deserve this one thing.”
If this is you—if this feels familiar come tax season or any season—well, you’re in the right place. Because I’m here to tell you that, believe it or not, life becomes easier and less stressful when you quit drinking (or binging on sugar, or endless scrolling, or online shopping, or whatever your drug and addiction of choice).
Back when I was drinking, I might’ve yes’ed you on that. I knew that deep down. But also, I’d be adding a yeah but. As in, yeah but [insert normalized, collectively-sanctioned, reasonable-sounding justification here]. Addiction does that. Addiction’s a liar.
And so, if you’re still drinking or numbing in other ways, well, I ask you to trust me…or forget me and just try it. Because here and now, four years since my last glass of wine with dinner, I can tell you with certainty:
Drinking makes tax season worse. Drinking makes money stress worse. Drinking makes every other dread-inducing, difficult, painful, heartbreaking, overwhelming thing in life worse.
So what makes it better? And what helps with the money stuff?
For this April edition of the Sobriety Series, I’ve collected some of my favourite money-focused resources to help you regulate without alcohol, address your money stress head-on, and find peace.
Below, you’ll find:
Links and resources, including from financial experts who offer down-to-earth guidance, tough love, and humor; normalize financial rock bottoms; and make escaping money muddles feel doable.
A guided audio meditation and teaching from my most trusted teacher.
How I’m surviving tax season now that I’m sober, thoughts on how net worth doesn’t equal self-worth, and how I find relief and self-regulate without drinking or scrolling.
Just a reminder that full access to the Sobriety Series is a perk for paying subscribers. You can opt into the paid membership and take advantage of the LAST DAY of my birthday month special here:
