I so enjoy the authenticity in this piece and resonate with it deeply. My favorite line was when you wrote something like "if not shrinking brings rejection, it isn't true." That is something I strongly believe an would like to embody in more areas of my life. I also very much enjoy your Reflections on simplicity and find them inspiring. All the love
Thank you so much - truly. I’ve been returning to that line over and over this past week, almost like a mantra that helps me stay on course. Wishing you much love, clarity, and ease as you bring this into your own life.
Hey, Patti! I sent you an email to the address associated with your subscription (I wrote to let you know about winning and to confirm that it’s the email you’d like your prize sent to). If you can’t locate that email, please email me at hello AT danaleighlyons DOT com. I’ll also try to DM you 😊
You used the word fragmentation. And that is something I've been feeling for a while now. In me, it shows up as being able to show my truth on the page but not "out in the world". Like I pour it out in my newsletter and essays and then keep it all bottled up when I venture outside the writing world. It sounds silly but there is something there. I have this same habit energy with sobriety, too. I "save" some of my deep thoughts/feelings/processing for my sober community when I log into a meeting. Almost like I can't trust others to go into the deep end with me. When that isn't true. It's just a story I tell. It's my own version, I guess, of a filter system.
To not have to self-negotiate. That must free up so much energy.
I'll come back to this essay again, I'm sure. Lots to ponder.
I loved reading the responses you got from Maria. I gained some things for myself there, too. So, thanks for sharing. xoxo
That doesn’t sound silly at all, Allison. It really resonates because I definitely do that, too. Sobriety is a great example: I’ve been sober over six years. Outside of sober groups, I’ve mentioned it to someone in person (just mentioned it!) maybe once or twice? And even in emails with people closest to me, it’s not something I bring up. Honestly, the same goes for some of the other, non-sobriety things I’m tied in knots about mentioning online. Very long ago, I learned to keep the peace by putting more and more things in the box of “what we don’t talk about.” But as you say, such fragmentation is premised on stories.
Sigh... I’m grateful we have Maria’s wisdom! Thanks so much for being here ❤️
Thank you for reflecting deeply on our session, because I needed it! I have been experiencing adrenal fatigue and feel that while I have been managing it in some ways, I really haven't in other areas I have taken for granted as parts of a static identity.
Hah! No such thing!
Sometimes spirit must hit me over the head (kindly) with words I have purportedly brought through for someone else.
And the princess and tiger personalities come through so clearly in those photos 👑🐅
Truly so grateful for you, Maria! And I love how spirit works, providing what we need in all kinds of ways until something gets through.
Ahh... the myth of the static identity. You have me wondering what part that’s playing in my life right now, too - including as it relates to aging... and to my inner princess and tiger 🐯
"But I also know that different parts of me run counter to different groups, and I’m not sure there’s a single group that aligns with me fully—which is totally fine. It’s just that, in my lived experience, this has too often looked like rejecting the whole of me because of one part of me." THIS!! The story of my life: "rejecting the whole of me because of one part of me". I SO struggle with this always!!! I feel I never quite fit in, and I bring on the self rejection because of that. I have to admit, I am getting better as I get older, but still struggle so much with it. Most of the time, I have a hard time "being myself" because it's almost like I don't even know what "myself" is.
You are a truly beautiful person. I welcome ALL parts of you and will continue to read along. Just curious, why I am so much more accepting of others than I am of myself? Hmmm
Oh my goodness, I often ask myself that exact same question. But, you know, I think there is great beauty in the other thing you said there: not knowing what “myself” even is. Because the truth is, we’re always changing, and there are so many ways to look at something and experience ourselves, others, and the world. Any clear delineations, labels, and boxes are, in the end, made up.
Thank you from my heart, Celeste. Truly grateful for you and your presence here ❤️
I need to revisit this one my friend. I feel an arrow just lightly piercing the skin of my chest as I sit and read over my morning coffee.
I’ll give it another try later today. With hydrogen peroxide and bandages nearby. 🙏
All the hearts to you, Dee ❤️
I so enjoy the authenticity in this piece and resonate with it deeply. My favorite line was when you wrote something like "if not shrinking brings rejection, it isn't true." That is something I strongly believe an would like to embody in more areas of my life. I also very much enjoy your Reflections on simplicity and find them inspiring. All the love
Thank you so much - truly. I’ve been returning to that line over and over this past week, almost like a mantra that helps me stay on course. Wishing you much love, clarity, and ease as you bring this into your own life.
I was wondering how I claim my bookshop prize? How does it work?
Hey, Patti! I sent you an email to the address associated with your subscription (I wrote to let you know about winning and to confirm that it’s the email you’d like your prize sent to). If you can’t locate that email, please email me at hello AT danaleighlyons DOT com. I’ll also try to DM you 😊
You used the word fragmentation. And that is something I've been feeling for a while now. In me, it shows up as being able to show my truth on the page but not "out in the world". Like I pour it out in my newsletter and essays and then keep it all bottled up when I venture outside the writing world. It sounds silly but there is something there. I have this same habit energy with sobriety, too. I "save" some of my deep thoughts/feelings/processing for my sober community when I log into a meeting. Almost like I can't trust others to go into the deep end with me. When that isn't true. It's just a story I tell. It's my own version, I guess, of a filter system.
To not have to self-negotiate. That must free up so much energy.
I'll come back to this essay again, I'm sure. Lots to ponder.
I loved reading the responses you got from Maria. I gained some things for myself there, too. So, thanks for sharing. xoxo
That doesn’t sound silly at all, Allison. It really resonates because I definitely do that, too. Sobriety is a great example: I’ve been sober over six years. Outside of sober groups, I’ve mentioned it to someone in person (just mentioned it!) maybe once or twice? And even in emails with people closest to me, it’s not something I bring up. Honestly, the same goes for some of the other, non-sobriety things I’m tied in knots about mentioning online. Very long ago, I learned to keep the peace by putting more and more things in the box of “what we don’t talk about.” But as you say, such fragmentation is premised on stories.
Sigh... I’m grateful we have Maria’s wisdom! Thanks so much for being here ❤️
Thank you for reflecting deeply on our session, because I needed it! I have been experiencing adrenal fatigue and feel that while I have been managing it in some ways, I really haven't in other areas I have taken for granted as parts of a static identity.
Hah! No such thing!
Sometimes spirit must hit me over the head (kindly) with words I have purportedly brought through for someone else.
And the princess and tiger personalities come through so clearly in those photos 👑🐅
Truly so grateful for you, Maria! And I love how spirit works, providing what we need in all kinds of ways until something gets through.
Ahh... the myth of the static identity. You have me wondering what part that’s playing in my life right now, too - including as it relates to aging... and to my inner princess and tiger 🐯
Wishing you much ease and serenity today ❤️
A lovely read 🌸
Thank you, Jenny ❤️
"But I also know that different parts of me run counter to different groups, and I’m not sure there’s a single group that aligns with me fully—which is totally fine. It’s just that, in my lived experience, this has too often looked like rejecting the whole of me because of one part of me." THIS!! The story of my life: "rejecting the whole of me because of one part of me". I SO struggle with this always!!! I feel I never quite fit in, and I bring on the self rejection because of that. I have to admit, I am getting better as I get older, but still struggle so much with it. Most of the time, I have a hard time "being myself" because it's almost like I don't even know what "myself" is.
You are a truly beautiful person. I welcome ALL parts of you and will continue to read along. Just curious, why I am so much more accepting of others than I am of myself? Hmmm
Sending heartfelt understanding and gratitude ❤️
Oh my goodness, I often ask myself that exact same question. But, you know, I think there is great beauty in the other thing you said there: not knowing what “myself” even is. Because the truth is, we’re always changing, and there are so many ways to look at something and experience ourselves, others, and the world. Any clear delineations, labels, and boxes are, in the end, made up.
Thank you from my heart, Celeste. Truly grateful for you and your presence here ❤️
Ahhh, thanks for that perspective. So true!