PERFECT HUNGER Link-Up: Do you believe in ghosts?
Plus: cigarettes (not cool!), a sober cooking PSA, my ultimate fitspo
The PERFECT HUNGER Link-Up is my curated collection of what’s consuming me lately, featuring provocative listens and reads, latest obsessions, and the occasional rabbit hole. For the full feast, upgrade your subscription here:
Dearest Reader,
Welcome back to the PERFECT HUNGER Link-Up—a monthly series where I share what’s consuming me lately.
It’s a little after 11 a.m., and I’ve just taken the blessed first sip of a perfectly made almond-milk latté at my favorite coffee shop in the Old City of Chiang Mai. I’ve paired it with my favorite brand of nam soda (bubbly water) with a generous squeeze of fresh lime. The local, highly carbonated water comes in small glass bottles and tastes divine in steamy weather. In hotter months, I can polish off a six-pack easy. 😅
These days, I work mostly from home. But for months after we first moved to Thailand, I visited this particular coffee shop every morning and stayed until afternoon, tapping away on my laptop, sipping lattés, and getting scrambled eggs with avocado for lunch. The Gen Z staff knows me, and it’s fun to see their faces light up with cheerful recognition when I pop in.
Every time I do, I think: I should do this more often! Even just once a week to mix up the vibe, step out of my rather austere home-desk situation, and work while half people-watching and half singing along (in my head, lol) to Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, or whatever other dance-y pop throwbacks they’re playing on repeat. Despite (or maybe because of?) my reverence for solitude and silence, it feels like a breath of fresh air.
Do you ever work from coffee shops? Do you find it helps you feel energized and inspired… or leaves you more distracted and scattered? (I genuinely love hearing—it helps me picture you, the human, reading this letter.)
I hope you enjoy today’s link-up! Below, find links to:
👻 Thai ghosts, sacred rituals, and honoring ancestors
🍵 Storytelling as resistance, wild tea, and the art of slow mastery
🧘 Equanimity when you’re furious (yes, really)
🚬 Sobriety, stoicism, and cigarettes
⚠️ PSA: Cooking with alcohol? It doesn’t always burn off (sober folks, take note)
🙉 Listening better in the age of mind melt (yes, we actually can!)
… plus more reads and listens that stayed with me long after they ended.
Stepping Beyond What We (Think We) Know
THAI GHOSTS AND THEIR MYSTERIOUS POWER.
I’m covering this one first because I want to correct something I mentioned in the last My Soulful Life letter, where I said Randy “bought” us each a protective amulet from Wat Phra Singh, a Buddhist temple nearby.
Turns out, you don’t buy amulets from a temple. You make a donation to the temple, which then gifts you an amulet blessed by resident monks.
This is one of countless new things I’ve learned from Thai Ghosts and Their Mysterious Power by Thanapol (Lamduan) Chadchaidee, Ph.D. The book is a fascinating firsthand account of spooky encounters, yes. But it also feels like essential reading for anyone interested in understanding local Thai culture and how Buddhism is practiced in Thailand.
Relationships with spirits and ancestors aren’t just “ghost stories” here. They’re woven into daily life, visible once you know where to look. From amulets worn and displayed widely, to spirit houses outside homes and businesses, to ancient trees wrapped in bright orange and yellow cloth, to regular offerings made at homes, shops, and temples—there’s a shared sense that we can’t see or know everything. The tapestry we’re part of is vast, stretches beyond ordinary perception, and includes more than the living.
This awareness shows up everywhere, from the profound (the constant presence of monks, temples, and Buddhist rituals) to the mundane (amulets on car dashboards, ceremonies for new vehicles, and rituals around choosing lottery numbers, for instance).
Even if you reject the presence of spirits, the author offers insight into why Thai people do certain things, don’t do others, and how ancestral and spiritual connections are woven throughout daily life. He presents a worldview quite different from the Western norm—one that powerfully (and beautifully!) shapes the way people relate to one another, their ancestors, animals, plants, even possessions.
Do you believe in ghosts? Or spirits? I’ll be awaiting your tales in the comments!
Find it here. (You could also check Goodreads, Amazon, etc.)
STORYTELLING AS RESISTANCE, WILD TEA, DEEP FRIENDSHIP, AND FIGHTING TO REMEMBER.
This entire episode of Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke is gorgeous, but my favorite parts are Rui Liu’s childhood story, her discussion of tea cultivation and the layered meanings of Chinese Mandarin characters, and the shared reverence Africa and Rui have for going slow, working deeper, and taking time to master something—rather than rushing from one product or idea to the next.
I also appreciate Africa’s brief discussion near the end about unfollowing Western content and listening exclusively to podcasts from Kenya, South Africa, and her native Zimbabwe over the past six months. I touched on this in the last letter, but I’m so done with U.S.-centrism. There’s a whole, rich world out there.
Choosing What Actually Helps (Especially When It’s Hardest)
SEVEN FACTORS SUPPORTING EQUANIMITY.
In this recent dharma talk, senior Buddhist teacher Gil Fronsdal offers timely, immediately applicable guidance for cultivating calm and equanimity—even when the very suggestion of equanimity might piss us off. I love his discussion of how this supports us in acting more wisely and more effectively.
Around minute 24, he also touches on a lesser-spoken aspect of the Buddhist path: over time, and without spiritual bypassing, it’s a way to become genuinely happier. I’ve found this to be true!
There are countless ways to show up courageously, passionately, and effectively for the causes we care about. I believe the most vital work is an ongoing practice, not just a reaction to the news cycle or a rush to proclaim our opinions. It begins in our hearts and how we treat others—in ways big and small, online and off. Charles Eisenstein gets this and articulates it beautifully.
“the mindset that looks first for ‘which side are you on’ is the opposite of peace consciousness.” —Charles Eisenstein