52 Comments
User's avatar
Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Thanks for this deeply human and relatable piece Dana. I can definitely resonate. I've just had a week where my anxiety spiked so high that nothing could help to settle it. It's a humbling reminder that no matter how many skills and tools we develop, and how much work and growth we do, there will still be moments when old patterns take hold, young wounded parts show up, and we are simply reminded of our humanity! The fact that there is also a part that can observe it happening, is magic in itself I think. In many ways, I think it's helpful that I can still get caught in these patterns. It keeps things real when I'm working with clients. I never promise anyone a 'fix' for anything....

On a separate note. I do hope you've been able to reclaim the lost money. And I'm VERY impressed that you could still appreciate the sexy CIBC guy, even in the midst of meltdown 😄

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

So beautifully put and so true, Vicki. Thank you, and sending you wishes for ease and serenity this week. ❤️

And yes - hopefully once they complete their investigation, all money will be returned! Sexy CIBC guy is on it. 😄

Expand full comment
Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Good job sexy CIBC guy 😃

Expand full comment
Debbie Weil's avatar

ooo Dana!!! just getting up here on the East Coast and devoured this. the way you unfurl how this shitty thing feels and how you are thinking about it is jaw droppingly good. you sum up the experience perfectly: FUUUCK… but wait, I want to hear more about the sexy customer service guy. thinking of you today!

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Debbie! SCSG and writing this letter were the highlights of the experience, for sure. That’s the thing about writing and British accents - both tend to make things a lot better. 😅

Expand full comment
Valerie Monroe's avatar

Debbie! How nice to see you here! xo

Expand full comment
Tasha Kerry Smith's avatar

I get the freak out!!! This kind of thing is such an invasion…. I live in Spain and local town hall claim I did not pay house tax from 2020 to 2022 BUT during those years someone broke into my house and stole my receipts so I can’t prove I paid, now they want 700euros from me, total scam! I’m torn, do I accept loss with grace or go after the thieving bastards? I’m writing about it. I hope Sexy guy fixed your account x

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Nooo - how awful! Glad you’re writing about it - that always helps me process and find even a little more spaciousness. May the sexy fraud first responders work in your favour! xo

Expand full comment
Donna McArthur's avatar

This sucks so much! I have had it happen a few times and it's not easy to handle. I'm glad, at least, you got sexy CIBC man so there was some help along with slightly comic relief. I laughed reading about him. Be well Dana.

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Donna. And yes - praise be to sexy CIBC man! 😅

Expand full comment
Adam PT's avatar

I’m so sorry this happened but, wow, the way you delivered this had me in stitches.

A tragedy became a comedy. That’s strength. Hope it all works out.

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thanks so much, Adam. I will say that this was the most fun I’ve had writing in a while - so there’s that! 😅

Expand full comment
Nancy Boyd's avatar

Yikes 😳

Annndddd I love you for sharing it all — in a much more coherent way than I probably would have under similar circumstances.

Money is such a trigger for old wounds and patterns.

Thank all that’s holy for the dharma of good people and the karma of whatever wisdom we’ve been privileged to gather.

Much love and respect ✊

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Nancy. And yes - here’s to that dharma and karma!

Expand full comment
Valerie Monroe's avatar

Dana, seems you handled the whole thing... perfectly! Just exactly right! Congratulations! xoxoxoxo

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Val. I will say, it made for a fun writing exercise! 😅 xoxo

Expand full comment
Lucy Fleetwood's avatar

What a horrible situation

to find yourself in 🙏🏼 sending you all the hearts 💕 ❤️💖 I love that phrase!

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

All the hearts back to you, Lucy! ❤️

Expand full comment
Diana van Eyk's avatar

What a drag, Dana!

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Sigh... Thank you, Diana. 😅

Expand full comment
JB Minton 📺's avatar

I’m sorry this happened. Karma owes you.

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thanks, JB!

Expand full comment
Natalie White's avatar

Hahahaha omg this was intensely relatable. Telling the inner observer to fuck off lolol… yeah, I hear that 😅 it is also necessary sometimes… just gotta move through the reality of the feelings…

And oh my heart goes out to you… I would be freaking out so bad too. Plus having to deal with all the phone calls and the inevitable run around? Ugh, even worse.

Sending hugs!

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

So necessary! 😅 Thank you, Natalie. Hugs to you!

Expand full comment
Natalie White's avatar

Hahahaha omg this was intensely relatable. Telling the inner observer to fuck off lolol… yeah, I hear that 😅 it is also necessary sometimes… just gotta move through the reality of the feelings…

And oh my heart goes out to you… I would be freaking out so bad too. Plus having to deal with all the phone calls and the inevitable run around? Ugh, even worse.

Sending hugs!

Expand full comment
Becky Handley (she/they)'s avatar

I'm so sorry you've been put through this, Dana. 🖤 I'd react the exact same way and would very much feel like it was somehow my fault. I hope the sexy phone guy is right and you get all your money back soon. Take care and keep writing about it! 🖤

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Becky. And, yeah, isn’t it wild - the impulse to blame ourselves? Lots of hearts to you. ❤️

Expand full comment
John Gonter's avatar

I'm making you a healing breakfast sammy. And thank your higher power for your partner and the sexy support guy.

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Yes, please! Thank you, John! 😊

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

I am so sorry this happened to you, Dana. And I totally get the 12-year-old freakout response even when you've got a long and deep Buddhist practice. I've been there too, and still visit there at times when it's around something with deep conditioning, like money. Whoa, money.

A few weeks ago, the windshield of my car and the window of my living room were both smashed by rocks thrown into them by ?? we have no idea who. I wasn't the only one in my neighborhood who got vandalized, which was a small bit of comfort. But my own safety triggers were completely lit up and fear was coursing through my body. My first impulse a day later was, "I need to build a goddamn fence in front of my house!" I called a bunch of folks to get estimates. And I may still do that. But it soon became clear how much fear was in the driver's seat that first week. And so it is. Only human! I've been able to talk myself into a pause this past week.

I am so glad you got the sexy CIBC rep, and hope all funds are returned to you soon. Big love!

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thank you, Maia… and yikes! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’d be totally freaked out too. Actually, I remember when someone smashed my car window overnight when we lived in Colorado years ago - my immediate, instinctual reaction was feeling very unsafe (even though we lived in a very safe neighbourhood). There’s something deeply unsettling about the effects of violent anger that seem to come out of nowhere, unexpectedly. Whether or not you end up getting the fence, I’m wishing you peace and serenity.

CIBC was on it! They’ve already returned my money and even sent a new card to Thailand via DHL, which has already arrived.

Lots of love to you!

Expand full comment
Maia Duerr's avatar

GREAT!!!!

Expand full comment
Chris Falk's avatar

I get it, Dana. I told a really rude customer to get the fuck out of my shop last week and then texted her a follow up to tell her how rude and arrogant she was. Yes, she was awful and my manager appreciated that I had her back but, still, I try not to lose my shit to that extent at 56 yrs old AND almost 6 years sober AND a daily meditator yada yada. Progress not perfection.....all doing our best and some days are better than others. Bank fraud is infuriating on many levels.

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Sigh... Sorry you had that shitty experience, Chris. And you’re so right: some days (and even parts of a single day) are better than others. I’ve noticed that whatever I do earlier tends to rise to the surface during that evening’s meditation; for me, this has been one of the biggest motivators to shift certain defaults and behaviors. Keeps me accountable and honest, that’s for sure!

Expand full comment