Dearest Reader,
When we decide a thing—when we with blood and bones decree it—change is set in motion and we are set in motion. And yet, a paradox.
Because the most powerful decisions, decrees, and transformations do not arise from action.
They unfold as action—and, make no mistake, action and effort are essential.
But they arise from surrender. They arise from getting still and quiet enough to actually hear and to actually listen.
What is needed here?
What do I truly, in my deepest heart, desire?
If you’re always doing, scrolling, and worrying what others think, you’ll never know. If you’re always resting and “self-caring,” you won’t know either.
In my last post, I mentioned surrender and sovereignty—a Yin-Yang pair at the centre of creation. And dissolution. And creation.
Round and round we go. “Everything you lose is a step you take.”1
But even “pair” suggests a separation.
No.
In Medicine, they are whole. In Medicine, they are indivisible. Surrender and sovereignty. Care and courage.2 Stillness and movement.
This sounds heady. This sounds many steps removed from the to-doing and triple tasking that 90 percent of us are up to right now.
So, let’s stop it.
Let’s close down the thought loop and stop with the distracted, conditioned, ineffectual play at “being busy.”
Let’s turn towards the stillness and emptiness and boredom.
It’s not empty and it’s not boring. But realizing that usually takes breaking through a very modern and most unfortunate sort of resistance.
Do that. Then talk to me about resolutions. Better yet, don’t talk to anyone about anything.
Instead, from that place—from the place of surrender, stillness, and listening—decide, decree, and do the fucking thing. No posting or Reels required.
But wait! I have backup! For paid subscribers, after the jump, a round-up of resources.
These are not a replacement for the stillness and boredom bit. These are not meant to encourage more of the same.
Think of them as links to get you in the mood. Think of them as foreplay for what it actually takes (which isn’t one more article or book or podcast or tool).
In the round-up below: A stellar podcast devoted to quitting all kinds of people, situations, concepts, and things. Another on how to make and uphold boundaries (complete with examples of what, specifically, to say when doing it). One of the most beautiful, powerful essays on parenting I’ve ever read (because what’s parenting but surrender and sovereignty). The book that moved the needle for me when it came to taking right action in writing (including requesting that folks pay for my work if they read it regularly and have the means). Several links for anyone already sober or considering it (next-level, badass surrender-and-sovereignty work right there). All with thoughts and a side of salty from yours truly. Happy New Year.