Luscious and wobbly is the perfect description! Truthfully, part of me loves being in the in-between. It’s such a magnetic, alive place - when I remember to let it be.
Truly grateful for you, Allison. When I call to mind and heart people like you, I remember what the heck I’m even doing here. Lots of love. ❤️
Oh my gosh what a delight to read this! Now I'm inspired!!! & I need that b/c I'm in a Substack rut myself. The fact is, we're always cycling in and out and we have to find the internal tethers that keep the work steady. Knowing that we all experience the same triumphs and ambivalences is definitely one of mine. 🧡
Somehow I missed your comment earlier, Isabel. But I seriously think about your quote every day - often in shorthand to myself, like: yep, just over here watching that jelly dribble down my chin.
And you’re so right: all this is so normal and so human, cycling in and out and back again... hopefully remembering those internal tethers. ❤️
I like these letters. They’re honest, and this one settles me because I’ve been sort of experiencing a similar thing with the online solopreneurism. What’s nourishing me is: I’m presently training to become a personal trainer. So PT by name and soon by profession. I thought it would be great to throw it in the sober coaching and it’s useful to have in its own right. And it’s forcing me to remedy my back pain, which is coming along very well. All in all, I feel it’s been a great investment already. BTW I can answer your questionnaire, but I’m more of a happy lurker reader who doesn’t experience much-if any- food noise. Dunno if that’s any good to you?!
Thanks, Adam! I’m truly grateful for your presence here and your work in the world. That’s amazing that you’re becoming a personal trainer - how cool (and powerful) to integrate that with sober coaching. The movement and physical caretaking piece has been essential on my own journey. And massive bonus if it helps your back!
Thank you for this entire piece, but especially the part about your marriage. Happy Anniversary, by the way! I literally teared up reading about how your husband hugs you every morning. Mine does too. I struggled finding gratitudes for my journal this morning, and my husband's daily hugs need to be written there. I guess I was taking them for granted. Thank you SO much for the reminder. What's nourishing me during these summer days are bike rides. I was never a biker. Then at 53 years of age, I got an ebike last summer. Wow, a whole new world opened up! Since then, I've ridden almost 900 miles and even learned how to load a 68 pound bike by myself. (My husband gets credit for installing the hitch and bike rack:) However, even with all of that joy, I'm feeling unsettled. I'll be retiring in 5 months after 33+ years of teaching. It's time to make a change, but I don't know what the next phase of my life is going to look like. I'm keeping an open mind, though!
Thank you, Crystal! I love hearing how your husband hugs you each day - those seemingly small things mean so much. And that’s amazing about your ebike and learning to load it. I’m always inspired by stories of “firsts” later in life - there’s so much available to us, no matter our chronological age.
Such a big transition ahead, as you shift out of teaching (at least in that role) and into whatever’s next. I totally get the unsettled feeling, but I hope you’re able to find moments of excitement and playful curiosity in the not knowing and liminality. Who knows what this change might make space for - or what this next phase will look and feel like? Sending wishes for joyful expectation your way. ❤️
Thanks for these reflections, Dana. Thanks, too, for mentioning my work on liminality and transitions. I will check out the work of this other fine company:
"Btw, I’ve noticed that a lot of people are writing about liminality and transition lately—from myriad angles. If this topic feels alive for you, some recommended reading: Dr Vicki Connop (perimenopause, health), Jeffrey Davis (mid-life courage, creativity, wonder), Allison Deraney (motherhood, desire), Kaitlyn Ramsay (home, stability), Holly Whitaker (career, identity, meaning)."
I tried to take the survey, but couldn't click on the buttons? Maybe it's just me, and I'll own my non-Substack tech savvy. I'm a "what does it all mean?" and "Yes" to the food piece.
I hear you on the liminal, not as excited, slightly overwhelmed feeling of the online space. I find myself trying to keep up with anything and losing the motivation, especially here around notes. It's a bit disheartening as I'm also wanting to try to create/grow my own solo-preneur business and feeling like, "how do I do this in the midst of the liminal space?"
What is filling my cup is recovery community and a commitment to my sobriety and growth, even when I don't know where that growth is taking me. Love the idea of reintroducing ourselves at any time.
Thanks, Josh! To complete the survey, you have to be a subscriber (which you are) and click on the actual article (rather than viewing it in Substack Reader mode). You can get there from the Perfect Hunger homepage or by clicking the article title when it’s in Reader mode. It took me a while to figure this out when I was completing polls on someone else’s post!
I hear you on that question: How do I do this...while still hanging out in the liminal space? One reason I find this challenging to navigate is because I pour my heart into writing here (as I’m sure you do, too, based on what I’ve read from you). But if I’m not honest about where I’m truly at internally, the writing feels flat - to me and no doubt to readers. So, as best I can, I’m trying to show up on the page with all of it - uncertainty and all.
Big yes on recovery community and commitment to sobriety and growth. It’s such a precious gift, I find, having that anchor and compass. Thanks so much for sharing, Josh. Cheering you on with it all.
OK, I did the survey. Somehow I guess I hadn't subscribed and was "just" a follower. I voted "What are you even talking about" because I'm not really fitting into those categories, LOL. Engaged online still, but with mixed feelings.
Love these posts Dana - particularly loved the glimpse into your wedding and ayahuasca honeymoon 😊 And thank you so much for the mention of my article here 🙏
As you know, I struggle with online life too. My body is very clear about how much it hates screen time and yet so many vitally important aspects of my life happen via screens these days. It's a constant juggle. I'm not bonding well with Substack Notes, it scatters my brain too much, but this leaves me with the feeling of being left behind and missing opportunities for growth on here (which seems to be all about Notes these days!) But the body demands what the body demands, and I've learned to ignore it at my peril.
Through this winter period I'm being nourished by sleeping, reading, walking, and the absolute delight of the occasional days when the sun finally comes out after weeks and weeks of endless rain - today is one of those days, and I feel myself coming back to life as my very empty solar battery starts to recharge itself!
That description about Notes rings so true! I liked it for a while, back when there were very few people on there. But now it just feels like another social media channel - and I don’t love that having and growing a newsletter is entangled with social media.
The ways you’re finding nourishment sound so lovely, and the pictures you post of your surroundings are stunning. Alongside signals from my body, I find walking amidst natural beauty to be such a powerful reminder of what’s real and what matters. Thank you for being here and inspiring, Vicki. ❤️
What's nourishing me lately was having my friend come over to help me build an extension onto one part of my fence (helping me to partially solve my biggest concern). She cooked food for us and we were able to put in some hard and truly rewarding labour when we were able to step back and look at the finished project! I felt some part of my agency coming back (even though there's more to do, it got me one step closer).
I'm hungry for a routine! Moving has really shaken up all of my regular routines and I'm feeling a bit shaky without them. I'm excited to get back into work with fresh energy and to build a nourishing personal routine that will support me moving forward.
I love the idea of reintroducing ourselves quietly and internally first. I feel as though I'm going through a bit of a rebirth with this move and everything in my personal life (thank you for the shout-out btw!!) and I'm super curious to see who the next version of me becomes. It's kind of exciting the more I think about it!
That sounds deeply nourishing and so rewarding. I totally get what you mean about agency. Sometimes I struggle with that in Chiang Mai when it comes to getting around (still too afraid to drive here and miss my beloved MINI).
Routine! I hear you. This time last year, mine was in complete disarray (which is kind of my nightmare). But there’s something electric and special about how finding new routines can overlap with internal shifts. Truly excited for you, Kaitlyn!
As for online entrepreneurship, I don’t know how to make peace with that being a part of making a living as an author. I will tell you that for the month I haven’t been online checking stats and notifications, I’ve found other things to obsess over, and I missed the thoughtfulness of the Substack community. Unfortunately, on one of my first posts after deciding to come back from my little break, someone left an ugly comment. It was jarring and had me overthinking and fretting yesterday. This morning, I realized this is my space, and I don’t allow anyone to come in and talk to me like that, I deleted the comment and blocked the person. It got me thinking that I don’t even need to grow. I just need everyone to comes into my little online space to be good, kind and intelligent!
I’m so glad you deleted and blocked. I was reading your post yesterday, thoroughly loving it, and thinking to myself: Julie’s writing always has such texture and honesty and feels so alive. Then, when I went to comment and saw hers there, my jaw dropped. What kind of person just lays a big, smelly, gratuitous turd like that? Right on someone else’s doorstep. On their living room carpet, even.
My philosophy is: our newsletters are not a public space. They are our online home, and we can delete and block for any reason we wish. That’s what I would’ve done... but I still would’ve been spinning out and raging internally about it for at least a day, maybe longer.
I love your conclusion, and I’m starting - slowly, slowly - to think this way too: "It got me thinking that I don’t even need to grow. I just need everyone who comes into my little online space to be good, kind, and intelligent!"
YES! It did feel like a “big, smelly, gratuitous turd!” The more I thought and raged about it, the more I realized how good my readers are and how glad I am that every week there are people who leave quietly. It is hard to eradicate the desire for “growth” as an online entrepreneur, but if the cost of growth is your peace, is it worth it?
I’m trying not to stew in the yuckiness of the turd on my rug because historically, my readers have been the most amazing group of people. I have to remind myself that for every awful comment, there are fifty thoughtful and encouraging ones.
I’ve been spending more time growing plants in the garden, trying to start building trust with the local crow community. I think they watch for worms when I pull weeds.
What you describe is a lingering in the air that I’ve felt all summer. While it’s always a tough season for me personally, this year feels different - the state of the world likely contributing.
But there seems to be this electricity hanging in the balance that says let’s get creative in different ways, with each other - because we’re all here together and in this truly human experience we aren’t meant to simply hustle to pay bills, and then expire in this existence.
Might be a little woo woo, but it’s the vibe I’m feeling. ✨
Ooooo... I love that, Liz. When I stop to think about it, I feel it too. Maybe the deluge of hackneyed (and AI-generated) content is even part of it - because more than ever, I find myself craving something different, unexpected, beautifully imperfect, human. ✨
I spent too much time watching FB reels the other day. It was all ICE raids in LA. My heart still hasn't recovered.
I have so much to say and yet don't know where to begin, in terms of my writing and publishing...which has completely fallen off a cliff the last few months.
I hear you, Scott-Ryan. Sometimes it can all feel so big.
One of the reasons I quit FB and IG is because the juxtaposition of it all - levity and horror, one post to the next, in an unending scroll on a screen - felt both jarring and desensitizing. But, of course, Substack Notes can be that way too.
These days, I tend to focus on what feels close to home, embodied, and actually (hopefully!) effective in fostering care and connection - or at least not sowing more division. I truly think the way we show up is more important than the specific things we write and talk about.
Do you ever consider starting a publication here on Substack?
And yes, I think all the time about either starting a Substack or reviving my place on Medium. It's been a while since I've had the desire to say anything.
Yes to minimizing outside messaging, yes to nature’s white noise (lulling me lately, too), yes to trusting the unknowing. And donuts help, too.
Wishing you all kinds of new sparks, Dana.
Liminality can be luscious and it can also feel wobbly. One foot here, one foot over there. Am I in or am I out?
I’m so grateful to have your words accompanying me as I wobble!
Thanks for the mention. So much love 💕
Luscious and wobbly is the perfect description! Truthfully, part of me loves being in the in-between. It’s such a magnetic, alive place - when I remember to let it be.
Truly grateful for you, Allison. When I call to mind and heart people like you, I remember what the heck I’m even doing here. Lots of love. ❤️
“when I remember to let it be”. Gah! That’s it right there.
Well, we can help each other remember. Maybe that’s why we keep coming back here. 🙏🏼
You know, it really does feel that way to me: helping each other remember. 🙏🏼
Oh my gosh what a delight to read this! Now I'm inspired!!! & I need that b/c I'm in a Substack rut myself. The fact is, we're always cycling in and out and we have to find the internal tethers that keep the work steady. Knowing that we all experience the same triumphs and ambivalences is definitely one of mine. 🧡
Somehow I missed your comment earlier, Isabel. But I seriously think about your quote every day - often in shorthand to myself, like: yep, just over here watching that jelly dribble down my chin.
And you’re so right: all this is so normal and so human, cycling in and out and back again... hopefully remembering those internal tethers. ❤️
Right now feeling overwhelmed by social media and virtual side of things 🙏🏼💕🙏🏼
Sigh... Although your newsletter always offers an island of serenity amidst it all. ❤️
I like these letters. They’re honest, and this one settles me because I’ve been sort of experiencing a similar thing with the online solopreneurism. What’s nourishing me is: I’m presently training to become a personal trainer. So PT by name and soon by profession. I thought it would be great to throw it in the sober coaching and it’s useful to have in its own right. And it’s forcing me to remedy my back pain, which is coming along very well. All in all, I feel it’s been a great investment already. BTW I can answer your questionnaire, but I’m more of a happy lurker reader who doesn’t experience much-if any- food noise. Dunno if that’s any good to you?!
Thanks, Adam! I’m truly grateful for your presence here and your work in the world. That’s amazing that you’re becoming a personal trainer - how cool (and powerful) to integrate that with sober coaching. The movement and physical caretaking piece has been essential on my own journey. And massive bonus if it helps your back!
(This is a case of accidentally pressing send before I’d finished typing and editing, but it’s largely what I meant to say anyway)
Thank you for this entire piece, but especially the part about your marriage. Happy Anniversary, by the way! I literally teared up reading about how your husband hugs you every morning. Mine does too. I struggled finding gratitudes for my journal this morning, and my husband's daily hugs need to be written there. I guess I was taking them for granted. Thank you SO much for the reminder. What's nourishing me during these summer days are bike rides. I was never a biker. Then at 53 years of age, I got an ebike last summer. Wow, a whole new world opened up! Since then, I've ridden almost 900 miles and even learned how to load a 68 pound bike by myself. (My husband gets credit for installing the hitch and bike rack:) However, even with all of that joy, I'm feeling unsettled. I'll be retiring in 5 months after 33+ years of teaching. It's time to make a change, but I don't know what the next phase of my life is going to look like. I'm keeping an open mind, though!
Thank you, Crystal! I love hearing how your husband hugs you each day - those seemingly small things mean so much. And that’s amazing about your ebike and learning to load it. I’m always inspired by stories of “firsts” later in life - there’s so much available to us, no matter our chronological age.
Such a big transition ahead, as you shift out of teaching (at least in that role) and into whatever’s next. I totally get the unsettled feeling, but I hope you’re able to find moments of excitement and playful curiosity in the not knowing and liminality. Who knows what this change might make space for - or what this next phase will look and feel like? Sending wishes for joyful expectation your way. ❤️
Thanks for these reflections, Dana. Thanks, too, for mentioning my work on liminality and transitions. I will check out the work of this other fine company:
"Btw, I’ve noticed that a lot of people are writing about liminality and transition lately—from myriad angles. If this topic feels alive for you, some recommended reading: Dr Vicki Connop (perimenopause, health), Jeffrey Davis (mid-life courage, creativity, wonder), Allison Deraney (motherhood, desire), Kaitlyn Ramsay (home, stability), Holly Whitaker (career, identity, meaning)."
You’re so welcome, Jeffrey. I’ve really connected with your writing on this and have a hunch it would strike a chord with many PERFECT HUNGER readers.
I tried to take the survey, but couldn't click on the buttons? Maybe it's just me, and I'll own my non-Substack tech savvy. I'm a "what does it all mean?" and "Yes" to the food piece.
I hear you on the liminal, not as excited, slightly overwhelmed feeling of the online space. I find myself trying to keep up with anything and losing the motivation, especially here around notes. It's a bit disheartening as I'm also wanting to try to create/grow my own solo-preneur business and feeling like, "how do I do this in the midst of the liminal space?"
What is filling my cup is recovery community and a commitment to my sobriety and growth, even when I don't know where that growth is taking me. Love the idea of reintroducing ourselves at any time.
Thanks, Josh! To complete the survey, you have to be a subscriber (which you are) and click on the actual article (rather than viewing it in Substack Reader mode). You can get there from the Perfect Hunger homepage or by clicking the article title when it’s in Reader mode. It took me a while to figure this out when I was completing polls on someone else’s post!
I hear you on that question: How do I do this...while still hanging out in the liminal space? One reason I find this challenging to navigate is because I pour my heart into writing here (as I’m sure you do, too, based on what I’ve read from you). But if I’m not honest about where I’m truly at internally, the writing feels flat - to me and no doubt to readers. So, as best I can, I’m trying to show up on the page with all of it - uncertainty and all.
Big yes on recovery community and commitment to sobriety and growth. It’s such a precious gift, I find, having that anchor and compass. Thanks so much for sharing, Josh. Cheering you on with it all.
OK, I did the survey. Somehow I guess I hadn't subscribed and was "just" a follower. I voted "What are you even talking about" because I'm not really fitting into those categories, LOL. Engaged online still, but with mixed feelings.
Totally get those mixed feelings! Thanks for subscribing and playing along with the survey 😊
Love these posts Dana - particularly loved the glimpse into your wedding and ayahuasca honeymoon 😊 And thank you so much for the mention of my article here 🙏
As you know, I struggle with online life too. My body is very clear about how much it hates screen time and yet so many vitally important aspects of my life happen via screens these days. It's a constant juggle. I'm not bonding well with Substack Notes, it scatters my brain too much, but this leaves me with the feeling of being left behind and missing opportunities for growth on here (which seems to be all about Notes these days!) But the body demands what the body demands, and I've learned to ignore it at my peril.
Through this winter period I'm being nourished by sleeping, reading, walking, and the absolute delight of the occasional days when the sun finally comes out after weeks and weeks of endless rain - today is one of those days, and I feel myself coming back to life as my very empty solar battery starts to recharge itself!
That description about Notes rings so true! I liked it for a while, back when there were very few people on there. But now it just feels like another social media channel - and I don’t love that having and growing a newsletter is entangled with social media.
The ways you’re finding nourishment sound so lovely, and the pictures you post of your surroundings are stunning. Alongside signals from my body, I find walking amidst natural beauty to be such a powerful reminder of what’s real and what matters. Thank you for being here and inspiring, Vicki. ❤️
What's nourishing me lately was having my friend come over to help me build an extension onto one part of my fence (helping me to partially solve my biggest concern). She cooked food for us and we were able to put in some hard and truly rewarding labour when we were able to step back and look at the finished project! I felt some part of my agency coming back (even though there's more to do, it got me one step closer).
I'm hungry for a routine! Moving has really shaken up all of my regular routines and I'm feeling a bit shaky without them. I'm excited to get back into work with fresh energy and to build a nourishing personal routine that will support me moving forward.
I love the idea of reintroducing ourselves quietly and internally first. I feel as though I'm going through a bit of a rebirth with this move and everything in my personal life (thank you for the shout-out btw!!) and I'm super curious to see who the next version of me becomes. It's kind of exciting the more I think about it!
That sounds deeply nourishing and so rewarding. I totally get what you mean about agency. Sometimes I struggle with that in Chiang Mai when it comes to getting around (still too afraid to drive here and miss my beloved MINI).
Routine! I hear you. This time last year, mine was in complete disarray (which is kind of my nightmare). But there’s something electric and special about how finding new routines can overlap with internal shifts. Truly excited for you, Kaitlyn!
Love this post. ❤️
Thank you, Dee! ❤️
As for online entrepreneurship, I don’t know how to make peace with that being a part of making a living as an author. I will tell you that for the month I haven’t been online checking stats and notifications, I’ve found other things to obsess over, and I missed the thoughtfulness of the Substack community. Unfortunately, on one of my first posts after deciding to come back from my little break, someone left an ugly comment. It was jarring and had me overthinking and fretting yesterday. This morning, I realized this is my space, and I don’t allow anyone to come in and talk to me like that, I deleted the comment and blocked the person. It got me thinking that I don’t even need to grow. I just need everyone to comes into my little online space to be good, kind and intelligent!
I’m so glad you deleted and blocked. I was reading your post yesterday, thoroughly loving it, and thinking to myself: Julie’s writing always has such texture and honesty and feels so alive. Then, when I went to comment and saw hers there, my jaw dropped. What kind of person just lays a big, smelly, gratuitous turd like that? Right on someone else’s doorstep. On their living room carpet, even.
My philosophy is: our newsletters are not a public space. They are our online home, and we can delete and block for any reason we wish. That’s what I would’ve done... but I still would’ve been spinning out and raging internally about it for at least a day, maybe longer.
I love your conclusion, and I’m starting - slowly, slowly - to think this way too: "It got me thinking that I don’t even need to grow. I just need everyone who comes into my little online space to be good, kind, and intelligent!"
Big hearts, lots of love to you, Julie. ❤️
YES! It did feel like a “big, smelly, gratuitous turd!” The more I thought and raged about it, the more I realized how good my readers are and how glad I am that every week there are people who leave quietly. It is hard to eradicate the desire for “growth” as an online entrepreneur, but if the cost of growth is your peace, is it worth it?
I’m trying not to stew in the yuckiness of the turd on my rug because historically, my readers have been the most amazing group of people. I have to remind myself that for every awful comment, there are fifty thoughtful and encouraging ones.
I’ve been spending more time growing plants in the garden, trying to start building trust with the local crow community. I think they watch for worms when I pull weeds.
You and Isabel: Two of the most precious gems on Substack. xo
Bunches and bunches of ❤️s to you, Val. xo
What you describe is a lingering in the air that I’ve felt all summer. While it’s always a tough season for me personally, this year feels different - the state of the world likely contributing.
But there seems to be this electricity hanging in the balance that says let’s get creative in different ways, with each other - because we’re all here together and in this truly human experience we aren’t meant to simply hustle to pay bills, and then expire in this existence.
Might be a little woo woo, but it’s the vibe I’m feeling. ✨
Ooooo... I love that, Liz. When I stop to think about it, I feel it too. Maybe the deluge of hackneyed (and AI-generated) content is even part of it - because more than ever, I find myself craving something different, unexpected, beautifully imperfect, human. ✨
I spent too much time watching FB reels the other day. It was all ICE raids in LA. My heart still hasn't recovered.
I have so much to say and yet don't know where to begin, in terms of my writing and publishing...which has completely fallen off a cliff the last few months.
I hear you, Scott-Ryan. Sometimes it can all feel so big.
One of the reasons I quit FB and IG is because the juxtaposition of it all - levity and horror, one post to the next, in an unending scroll on a screen - felt both jarring and desensitizing. But, of course, Substack Notes can be that way too.
These days, I tend to focus on what feels close to home, embodied, and actually (hopefully!) effective in fostering care and connection - or at least not sowing more division. I truly think the way we show up is more important than the specific things we write and talk about.
Do you ever consider starting a publication here on Substack?
The way we show up is the key, absolutely it is.
And yes, I think all the time about either starting a Substack or reviving my place on Medium. It's been a while since I've had the desire to say anything.
so true all of it.
Lots of ❤️s to you, Patty.