Even as I’m downgrading the role of online time in my life, I remain grateful for spaces like this one and the connections I’ve made here. They’re real - just not the whole of us. ❤️
Hi Dana, I'm actually going through something similar -- trying to keep the internet use down to a dull roar. Gardening season approaches, and I want to spend more time tending the garden, and being with other people in person.
A beautiful piece and beautiful reminder Dana. So much has changed in how we're living in such a short window of time. Our bodies are left reeling and struggling to adapt. Even 5 years ago (pre-COVID), I would have never considered working online and yet now a proportion of each week is spent in online sessions.... I continually have to place boundaries around myself and screens. It's so much harder than food, alcohol, or any of the other addictive mediums. This one really seems to be the toughest pattern to crack. Appreciate your thoughtful reminder and vivid depiction of the 3-dimensional alternative ❤️
That’s such a great point about the past five years and working online, Vicki. While my writing work has always been remote, I was teaching college and serving as a dean mostly online from 2020 through 2023. Things really changed during that time.
And me, too: shifting my online habits has been way harder than quitting alcohol and changing my eating habits. Cheering you on with it all. ❤️
Gah, I needed this essay on this particular day. Thank you, Dana.
This line - “and then leave—getting back to the rest of my life.” I paused there and felt a bit of a lump in my throat. Because look at all we are missing! The rest of my life is waiting for me to look up. To move in pace with it. It goes on whether I notice or not.
Thanks for sharing all you notice. Such a beautiful essay.
So beautifully articulated. I have been feeling the same way, slipping in and out of online life, trying for more out and far less in. Will be rereading this many times for inspiration and strength. Thank you.
Beautiful piece as always, Dana - I love the insights you've shared here about how returning to Thailand has allowed you to see more clearly the ways things have changed and how the default relationship with online time has shifted in that time. As with so many other addictive things, I know for myself there's a tendency to not always see the slow insidious creep of how these things become normalised and automatic, intertwined with our identities and everyday routines. So the 'zoom-out' perspective and contrast you've made here is really helpful. I'm thinking more and more about how to make my offline life more of a default - even though large parts of my work and day-to-day are online, the offline feels so much more precious and important to protect and expand.
Thank you from my heart, Jane. Your newsletter remains an inspiration for me, as you always seem engaged in such beautiful offline adventures and connections. ❤️
Back again to just say an extra thank-you for your wisdom here, Dana! I shared this piece and one of your earlier ones in this piece of my own here: https://janeclairebradley.com/blog/the-internet/
Much gratitude for your sharing and naming this irritation that arises whenever connecting with others online is the only option, Dana! The internet is a wonderful tool for broadening our knowledge of the world and speeding up communication, however, there is a cost as you so aptly named. And being able to pause, ask the question, then decide for ourselves if using the tool is worth it in that moment is a valuable practice as I try to navigate this relationship with this seemingly “boundary less” knowledge box telephone, whose shadow can transform it into a tool of delusion, control & oppression. As Soul II Soul sings “Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now, Yeah!” Salamat!
Yes and yes. I was never someone who felt chained to my phone or started the day looking at things online but it is gradually (not so gradually) creeping in and suffusing my life with a sense of futility like if this person has a book, a life, a body, a house that is so perfect, why do I bother? I am working on remembering to do as many things as possible in the real world. Art, music, friends! Xxxx
Yay! Maybe we'll be in the same city for a bit then. It can be so tough to choose where to go, so I feel you as you decide where you'll be next. I'm glad to hear you may still be there in June though.
It is sad to see such a beautiful slice of culture fall, but I'm skeptically hopeful that we will move back to a similar community culture in new ways. That's what I want to keep believing at least 😅 we will see.
It’s a WIP for me. I got very sucked in- initially through my arts business. Still on IG ( with breaks) and I notice what I call “hungry ghosting” where I can watch myself scrolling without ever getting filled up, but yes, lots of time outside, making art, with friends is the antidote.
Occasionally I add “socials” to my sober app and track the time I have off them.
I did t get my first smartphone until maybe 40 years old ( 17 years ago) so it’s frightening how much harder this addiction is for digital natives like my 18 and 21 year old.
“Hungry ghosting” describes it perfectly, Liz. And I love that you’ve identified a dependable antidote. You’re so right about digital natives - I can’t even fathom it, really. Thank you for sharing and wishing you grace and ease with it all.
I loved walking down the street with you. It reminded me of everything I love about this country—especially now that I find myself wondering what's next.
I'm right there with you renegotiating how much time I spend online. It's a constant battle trying to find the line. I actually wanted to speak to you about something that I haven't told anyone yet hehe, but I suppose I could put it in here. I'm planning to relocate to Chiang Mai in June if all goes to plan, partly for this reason of craving deeper connection with people offline (amongst many other reasons). I know you're also thinking of relocating, but I thought it could be cool if we're in the same city even if just for a bit!
I loved the image of you in the internet café too. The last one in our town just closed a couple years ago. It was part Khao man gai shop, part internet café until they decided to close the internet café portion. Then they closed the Khao man gai shop because they went vegetarian. Every time I went there for chicken, it was just the owner and her fluffy cat sitting in there on the computer. It made me sad to think the teenagers were no longer congregating side by side and probably sat in their rooms alone instead, but here I am, physically alone and on the internet. 😅
That’d be so cool, Kaitlyn! I think, even if we eventually move to someplace else in Thailand, we’ll likely be here in June. We’re currently in the midst of deciding whether to move to the countryside (or someplace else quiet) sooner rather than later, but probably we’d still be close to Chiang Mai.
And how delightful to hear about Pai’s last internet café - though sad to see that slice of culture fall by the wayside. It makes me wonder how different things will be even five years from now...
Even as I’m downgrading the role of online time in my life, I remain grateful for spaces like this one and the connections I’ve made here. They’re real - just not the whole of us. ❤️
Hi Dana, I'm actually going through something similar -- trying to keep the internet use down to a dull roar. Gardening season approaches, and I want to spend more time tending the garden, and being with other people in person.
Thanks for posting.
Spending time tending the garden sounds deeply nourishing, Diana. Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure, Dana.
I wonder how many of us are tiring of so much screen time. Happy gardening, Maia.
A beautiful piece and beautiful reminder Dana. So much has changed in how we're living in such a short window of time. Our bodies are left reeling and struggling to adapt. Even 5 years ago (pre-COVID), I would have never considered working online and yet now a proportion of each week is spent in online sessions.... I continually have to place boundaries around myself and screens. It's so much harder than food, alcohol, or any of the other addictive mediums. This one really seems to be the toughest pattern to crack. Appreciate your thoughtful reminder and vivid depiction of the 3-dimensional alternative ❤️
That’s such a great point about the past five years and working online, Vicki. While my writing work has always been remote, I was teaching college and serving as a dean mostly online from 2020 through 2023. Things really changed during that time.
And me, too: shifting my online habits has been way harder than quitting alcohol and changing my eating habits. Cheering you on with it all. ❤️
Saving to this read later!
❤️
I felt such a visceral release in my body and nervous system just reading the description of life off the screen. Thank you. More of this please. 💜
You got it. So much love to you, Steve. ❤️
Stop yelling at me.
{just kidding}
Gah, I needed this essay on this particular day. Thank you, Dana.
This line - “and then leave—getting back to the rest of my life.” I paused there and felt a bit of a lump in my throat. Because look at all we are missing! The rest of my life is waiting for me to look up. To move in pace with it. It goes on whether I notice or not.
Thanks for sharing all you notice. Such a beautiful essay.
Thank you so much, Allison. And, believe me, I need the same message. ❤️
So beautifully articulated. I have been feeling the same way, slipping in and out of online life, trying for more out and far less in. Will be rereading this many times for inspiration and strength. Thank you.
Thanks so much, MTB. Wishing you much clarity with it all.
Thank You for your words 🌞
❤️🇺🇸🙏
Thanks so much for being here, Stephen. ❤️
Beautiful piece as always, Dana - I love the insights you've shared here about how returning to Thailand has allowed you to see more clearly the ways things have changed and how the default relationship with online time has shifted in that time. As with so many other addictive things, I know for myself there's a tendency to not always see the slow insidious creep of how these things become normalised and automatic, intertwined with our identities and everyday routines. So the 'zoom-out' perspective and contrast you've made here is really helpful. I'm thinking more and more about how to make my offline life more of a default - even though large parts of my work and day-to-day are online, the offline feels so much more precious and important to protect and expand.
Thank you from my heart, Jane. Your newsletter remains an inspiration for me, as you always seem engaged in such beautiful offline adventures and connections. ❤️
Back again to just say an extra thank-you for your wisdom here, Dana! I shared this piece and one of your earlier ones in this piece of my own here: https://janeclairebradley.com/blog/the-internet/
Thank you from my heart, Jane! ♥️
That's so lovely, thank you! Definitely something I'm trying to prioritise and cultivate so thank you for seeing me ❤️
Absolutely beautiful and inspiring.
Thank you, Becky! xo
Much gratitude for your sharing and naming this irritation that arises whenever connecting with others online is the only option, Dana! The internet is a wonderful tool for broadening our knowledge of the world and speeding up communication, however, there is a cost as you so aptly named. And being able to pause, ask the question, then decide for ourselves if using the tool is worth it in that moment is a valuable practice as I try to navigate this relationship with this seemingly “boundary less” knowledge box telephone, whose shadow can transform it into a tool of delusion, control & oppression. As Soul II Soul sings “Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now, Yeah!” Salamat!
Thank you so much for being here and sharing, Cher. And yes! “Back to life, back to reality...”
Yes and yes. I was never someone who felt chained to my phone or started the day looking at things online but it is gradually (not so gradually) creeping in and suffusing my life with a sense of futility like if this person has a book, a life, a body, a house that is so perfect, why do I bother? I am working on remembering to do as many things as possible in the real world. Art, music, friends! Xxxx
Such a beautiful place of remembrance and practice, Molly. Thank you for being here and sharing! xo
Yay! Maybe we'll be in the same city for a bit then. It can be so tough to choose where to go, so I feel you as you decide where you'll be next. I'm glad to hear you may still be there in June though.
It is sad to see such a beautiful slice of culture fall, but I'm skeptically hopeful that we will move back to a similar community culture in new ways. That's what I want to keep believing at least 😅 we will see.
It’s a WIP for me. I got very sucked in- initially through my arts business. Still on IG ( with breaks) and I notice what I call “hungry ghosting” where I can watch myself scrolling without ever getting filled up, but yes, lots of time outside, making art, with friends is the antidote.
Occasionally I add “socials” to my sober app and track the time I have off them.
I did t get my first smartphone until maybe 40 years old ( 17 years ago) so it’s frightening how much harder this addiction is for digital natives like my 18 and 21 year old.
Really important points you are making.
“Hungry ghosting” describes it perfectly, Liz. And I love that you’ve identified a dependable antidote. You’re so right about digital natives - I can’t even fathom it, really. Thank you for sharing and wishing you grace and ease with it all.
I loved walking down the street with you. It reminded me of everything I love about this country—especially now that I find myself wondering what's next.
I'm right there with you renegotiating how much time I spend online. It's a constant battle trying to find the line. I actually wanted to speak to you about something that I haven't told anyone yet hehe, but I suppose I could put it in here. I'm planning to relocate to Chiang Mai in June if all goes to plan, partly for this reason of craving deeper connection with people offline (amongst many other reasons). I know you're also thinking of relocating, but I thought it could be cool if we're in the same city even if just for a bit!
I loved the image of you in the internet café too. The last one in our town just closed a couple years ago. It was part Khao man gai shop, part internet café until they decided to close the internet café portion. Then they closed the Khao man gai shop because they went vegetarian. Every time I went there for chicken, it was just the owner and her fluffy cat sitting in there on the computer. It made me sad to think the teenagers were no longer congregating side by side and probably sat in their rooms alone instead, but here I am, physically alone and on the internet. 😅
That’d be so cool, Kaitlyn! I think, even if we eventually move to someplace else in Thailand, we’ll likely be here in June. We’re currently in the midst of deciding whether to move to the countryside (or someplace else quiet) sooner rather than later, but probably we’d still be close to Chiang Mai.
And how delightful to hear about Pai’s last internet café - though sad to see that slice of culture fall by the wayside. It makes me wonder how different things will be even five years from now...
Beautiful post!
Thank you, Kristin!