29 Comments

My joy now, comes from being still, watching the sky, walking through trees, noticing the weather, and noticing the changing light and weather conditions on city streets, listening to birds, noticing worms. As a child, much the same. In my 20’s, highs that led to lows and discombobulation.

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Such beautiful places of joy, Lucy. And very kindred to my own these days and years. So many blessings to you!

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yay, WORMS.

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Dana, this piece was a beautiful moment of seeing more of you, and a profound revealing of much of myself. Part of my really early sobriety journey came in my late teens and early 20's where I also was a passenger on the cocaine train, before getting off somewhere around 6 years ago. As someone who values the point of view of my ancestors (and lover of the TCM viewpoint on things), I want to thank you so much for providing some answers to the question I've always had surrounding how the members of my Chinese lineage would've seen or explained that phase of my life to me-and the patterns wrapped within it.

I am currently seeking and experiencing more "le" through a fast of entertainment. Usually I have some form of tv, movie, or other person speaking in the background as I go about my day. I've noticed that it created a scattered spirit in both my mental and emotional focus. As I've gone some days without that external stimulation, I've found more le in myself as I am able to fully focus on my thoughts, what I'm doing, the things I want to read (like your pieces and other stuff on substack) which then allows me engage in that true authentic spirit of connection because I'm actually connected enough to connect.

As a child I experienced a lot of joy connecting with my body through dance, through artistic expression, and even through playing games or reading I connected with my own creativity. Some of that was distracting from what was going on in my life, and in some ways that distraction was helpful and harmful. My adult life has been a balance of using distraction as a tool to center, and not scatter.

Thank you so much for all the careful thought you put into this piece and other pieces you give into the world. It's so valuable.

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Wow—thank you so much for your generous words and share, Kiểu. Truly. I love hearing how my own experience resonates with others on kindred paths. And I love knowing that someone is reading who loves TCM as much as I do!

I so hear you on fast entertainment and the scattering effect of constant consumption of content and noise. I quit tv (and even watching videos) in late 2019, and while I miss it sometimes, the reduction in my level of anxiety and the increase in my sense of calm and focus is massive. Silence truly works wonders, I find. Like you, I’ve been reading more nourishing content since quitting Instagram last month. There too, the reduction in anxiety and increase in calm and focus is massive.

Love that you mentioned connecting to le through dance, play, and creative expression! Yes! I’m an enthusiastic advocate for bringing more of that into our adult lives (just minus the cocaine—ha).

Thank you again for sharing and for being here, Kiểu!

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"When we’re addicted to the pursuit of “excess joy” and hyper-stimulation... we scatter our spirit and become untethered from our truest essence."

It's so odd to know what this feels like, to be in the journey and then to see it articulated in words. Phew, Dana Leigh! Leave me alone. 😂😭

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Haha. Well, you're definitely not alone, Obii! Hearts to you!

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Okay. Embarrassed to admit I only skimmed this post in the morning before commenting. But I kept the tab open, knowing I wanted to spend time with it later. I'm so glad I did. Thank you. The opening two paragraphs are stunning. The way you wove together so much rich storytelling and deep knowledge is breathtaking. Thank you. I know I will reread it again. And again.

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Oh, wow, Ann. Thank you from my heart to yours. I often have the sense of standing a ledge, releasing writing out into the world, crossing my fingers, and hoping for the best. Truly, your words mean more than I can say.

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Thank you for writing this post--there's so much wisdom in it, and I loved the poetry in the glimpses of your past. I also loved the personal references to your own addiction and naked dancing, which really helped ground the rest of the information for me. Since you asked about our own relationship to joy (and thank you for asking!)--when I turned fifty I decided I wanted to get back to the joy I felt when I was ten and eleven. I was deeply connected to nature and my own spirit as a child, and I wanted to reconnect to that, and to hold it with the wisdom I'd gained as an adult. This took me deeply into mystical and intuitive studies, and for me, reconnecting to my own psychic abilities and spiritual intuition is where all the joy lives now. I also find a lot of wild and creative delight in my meditations--which was a wonderful surprise. I thought meditating would make me less connected to excitement--like it would dim all of that somehow, but the opposite is true. Reading your piece put all of this into a medical perspective that was both illuminating and validating. Thank you!

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Thank you for your kind words and for sharing a glimpse into your own journey, Rebecca. I LOVE where it has led and is leading you! I'm 48, nearly 49, and over the past few years have felt pulled towards mystical, intuitive, and psychic studies. Mostly, this has led me towards books and self-guided meditative practices, but I took a short course late last year to try to find more structure and direction. The course was so-so. But I'm still deeply drawn towards attending to these sensibilities that I believe we all have...if only we find a way to remember and cultivate them (and stop doing things that work in the exact opposite direction). Thank you for sharing and inspiring!

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Yes, diving into the psychic realm has been the most fun, grounding, and heart opening work I've ever done! I believe we all have those sensibilities, too, and they take on the most amazing and interesting forms. Run towards it, if you're pulled! You are going to LOVE your 50s.

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YES!

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What a beautiful post. I love the design and the slow pace. Thank you for sharing so much wisdom. I know I will return to this because it resonates so deeply.

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Thank you so much, Ann. I love knowing it landed that way with you. Sending wishes for slow living, clear seeing!

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Thank you for this, Dana. 🙏🏼

I am so grateful that you dance your way now with words - words that connect with and land on so many of us.

For so long, I was convinced alcohol was how I best connected with others. Behind the scenes, what was really happening was that it was slowly splitting me from my spirit, my own Self. The Chinese Medicine model is so fascinating. This was such a great read. ✨

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Thank you so much, Allison. What a beautiful way of looking at dancing and writing. Blessings to you! 🙏🏼

Me too in once thinking that alcohol was how I best connected with others. I've been extremely quiet and shy my whole life; alcohol offered a door out of that, but at a steep price. Here’s to finding our way back to ourselves—body, mind, spirit.

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This is great Dana. So helpful reading about addiction and emotion through the lens of chinese medicine and it makes so much sense to me. For me, the path of yoga has changed my relationship to joy. Previously I sought it in people, experiences, things. Of course, I still do, but yoga also showed me (in fleeting glimpses) that my underlying nature is joy and this becomes more and more accessible with years of practice, as the channels get cleared of the noise that usually obscures it. I love your question about whether a substance or behaviour is connecting or disconnecting - that feels really key.

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Thank you so much, Vicki. Isn’t it beautiful how different models and practices offer alternate lenses yet together invite us into a fuller, richer understanding? Yoga is near and dear to my own life, joy, connection, and recovery. I’m not sure where I’d be without it. Heart-sourced blessings and gratitude to you!

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I really needed this understanding, it’s been something I have felt but could not verbalize. Thank you so much.

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Thank you for being here, Karen. And for letting me know how it resonated. Blessings from my heart to yours!

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Thanks for sharing your journey.

I used to drink and smoke fairly heavily, and experienced emotional highs and lows, but then my body couldn't take it anymore. For me the equilibrium that eventually overtook my emotional reality became preferable, but it took awhile and was a pretty big adjustment.

I'm still addicted to coffee, but usually have three cups in the morning as part of my breakfast routine, and it's something I don't even consider giving up.

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Thank you for being here and for sharing, Diana. And ahh, yes. The body is such an ally and offers such gifts through its messages (even when they don’t feel like gifts at the time). How wonderful that you found equilibrium along the way.

I hear you on coffee. I drink two cups a day: one blended with a teaspoon of butter as breakfast, one with an early lunch. If I drink more, I don’t even enjoy it and feel worse (usually more tired, rather than less). But I’ve decided I’m okay keeping that addiction for now. I’ve given up coffee before and may do so again...but right now, it feels fine to keep in my life and absolutely brings me a spot of joy each day :).

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I hope there are still kids who get to play in the woods. I go back to a similar place when I think of that natural joy...playing pretend with my sisters, happy to be bouncing our reimagining of reality off of each-other. I love the explanation of these states through the lens of Chinese medicine. It's very much in line with the explanation of mood and motivation as a result of dopamine peaks and dips.

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Me too, Julie. I share that hope...and hold dear memories of playing pretend with my own sisters. And big yes—so fascinating to see how we can explain the same thing through different lenses and languages. Thank you for sharing!

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❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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So many hearts to you, Val! xo

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You are a light, dear Dana. xo

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I hadn't read this gorgeous piece yet, until today when I posted about Joy as an alternative to a productivity mindset. Synchronicity? You've so brilliantly got my number. How could joy be bad??? The gluttony for joy as escape has ruled much of my days. So grateful for awareness and choice: to connect to the Source of a more peaceful joy, that is always available, right here inside. 🙏🏼

Still, a daily walk on the beach, singing for Mama Earth, always brings me back to the Joy of being alive. Just like a wave that returns, again and again and again. Thank you.

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