My Soulful Life: How do you want to use your time?
A mantra that’s helping me focus and do more of what matters
This is the latest of many personal dispatches on culture, healing, and spirituality from a dual Canadian-American living in Thailand. Find popular free essays here and access the rest of PERFECT HUNGER (including The Practice and Link-Ups) by upgrading here:
“How do you want to use your time? It’s your choice: right here, right now.”
That question might not seem like much… or maybe it does. But the other day, as I held standing splits for what felt like forever—sweat pouring from every inch of my body, eyes locked on the second toe of my left foot—it landed.
Maybe you have to know my teacher Giselle—hear her say it in her exact tough-love, Italian-American, Yogananda-meets-David-Goggins way—to get it.
Or maybe you need to be holding standing splits, drenched in sweat, staring at the second toe on your left foot while…
contemplating your to-do list…
silently raging about something you read online…
triple-analyzing yesterday’s emails…
spinning out over a future that may never happen…
when Giselle’s words cut through the bullshit—arriving from the past, via a 2021 class recording, echoing from your laptop in the corner of your sweltering bedroom:
“How do you want to use your time? It’s your choice: right here, right now.”
Fuuuck. Busted. Because while my body might’ve been going through the motions, my mind wasn’t up to anything beautiful, skillful, or useful.
So, I refocused. I reengaged every fiber of every muscle in my left leg, my right, and the deepest part of my abdomen. Cupping my ankle with my left hand, I inched my right closer to join it. Nose grazing foot, entire body alive and alert, I showed up. I focused on what is truly, honest to God, more important than we usually realize: what we’re doing right now.
Because yes, that focus got me deeper into the posture. But the intensity and single-mindedness of that focus also allowed for an equal-and-opposite experience of clarity and ease, focus and effectiveness long after practice was over. When I returned to my work, my worries, my duties, my efforts to do better and be better—all of it felt more present and clear.
Giselle’s question had such staying power that I wrote it by hand and placed it on my desk within eyesight.
“How do you want to use your time? It’s your choice: right here, right now.”
When I find myself…
numbing out or scrolling…
fueling my anger or being lured in by gossip…
getting lost in blaming myself or others…
future-tripping about what’s beyond my control…
contributing to division in thought, words, or action…
obsessing about something I wrote, said, or did…
even thinking about the latest Notes fuckery…
or basically wasting precious moments on anything that isn’t: 1. what I’m doing right now, 2. what’s beautiful, skillful, and useful, and/or 3. what really matters…
I channel Giselle.
HOW DO YOU WANT TO USE YOUR TIME?
Each time I ask, I find myself taking a deep breath, expanding my perspective, and breaking the spell. My attention naturally centers on the place near my heart. A voice inside answers: Present. Fully alive. Listening. In touch with my values, my compass, my body. More attuned to what matters.
Sometimes, my inner voice is exhausted. It cries, Give me a break! I just want to numb out! I smile, knowing that’s valid, too. And should I choose it, I’m consciously choosing it—not just letting it happen or ramble on without end.
It’s been surprisingly and beautifully effective, this practice. And, like standing splits, it gets deeper and deeper, easier and easier. It just takes discipline sourced from devotion. Willingness to welcome boredom and sit with discomfort. And repetition, repetition, repetition.
How do you want to use your time? How don’t you? Share what keeps you on track in the comments!
WHAT’S NOURISHING ME
Big sweats, cold showers. It’s been steeeeamy lately. I rarely check the temperature or forecast—my philosophy is the weather will do what it does; I’ll see how I feel and adapt as I go (sorry, dad!). But apparently, we hit 39.1°C (102.4°F) last month—and that wasn’t even as scorched as the areas north of us, which climbed to 42.3°C (108.1°F).
The heat doesn’t bother me much, as long as I’m not out wandering in direct sun during peak hours. In my room—AC off, lights dim—I simmer while I work, sweat beading on my forehead, then pour buckets during afternoon yoga. I’ll practice yoga anywhere, whatever the temperature. But I love hot yoga—and here, it’s like I have a home studio.
Also glorious: quick, ice-cold showers at least three times a day, and quiet early mornings after a storm—when the tropical trees in our alley glisten, a soft breeze passes over my balcony, and the whole world seems to exhale.
Organic cotton Japanese pads. Okay, maybe TMI, but the hunt for no-frills menstrual pads in Thailand has been its own kind of adventure. I’ve stood paralyzed before walls stacked with options, trying to decode the packaging, only to end up with… surprises. Picture (or maybe don’t! 😂): plasticky fabric that’s a one-way-ticket to vagina burn, heavily perfumed pads (why?), and “cooling” versions that delivered a shocking icy-hot sensation in a place I’d rather not feel that.
The Holy Grail came in the form of plain organic cotton pads from Japan… discovered at a fancy grocery store, on a bottom shelf that’s easy to miss. No scents, no sensations—just doing the job without being dramatic. PSA: simple upgrades are life-changing!
New Thai series. I’ve written before about how Thai dramas single-handedly got me watching TV again after a five-year hiatus—and how I unapologetically count them as language study. The latest gem is a mystery-romance set in rural Lampang, just north of us. Think: misty mountains, dense jungle, a rural hospital serving scattered villages, and romantic tension between a brooding, strapping lieutenant and a key suspect in a crime plot… all tangled in moral dilemmas and the collision of modern pressures with ancient traditions.
Private language lessons! Speaking of Thai, I wanted to update you on how the switch to private lessons is going. In short: amazing. Freed from the crazy-making antics of my former classmates, I can actually focus. The pace is much faster, the learning deeper, and honestly, it’s a whole lot more fun.
The best part? Filling notebook after notebook with new words that I can read and write in Thai script. Most challenging? Mastering the five tones—since they can completely change a word’s meaning—and retraining my tongue to pronounce what we think of as a single letter (like “T”) as multiple letters in Thai.
WHAT I’M HUNGRY FOR
A novel that tempts me to stay up past bedtime. I’m about two-thirds through Wuthering Heights and on the hunt for what to read next. I’ve got a few recs on my list, but our English-language selection is limited here, and I haven’t been able to find them. WH is decent, but I’m missing the Dune series, which I read before that.
In case you have ideas, here’s what I like: The Left Hand of Darkness, Lord of the Flies, Lord of the Rings, The Hunger Games series, Brave New World, Island, ACOTAR (yes, really). Survival-of-the-fittest. Intricate world building. Phenomenal writing that’s dark and dystopian. Post-apocalyptic sci-fi like The 100 (in book form). Fantasies with magic and wizards (elves, faeries, dragons, et al.). Sexy bad wizards with black capes and dark features. “Coming of age” meets magician school.
Got anything for me? Related: should I get a Kindle so I can easily access more books? Do you have one? What do you think? Does using it before bed mess with your sleep?
I’d love to hear yours.
Part of what delights me about writing these My Soulful Life letters is knowing I’ll get to hear about your lives—what’s supporting and helping you, what you want more of in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
That in mind, I’d love to hear:
What’s nourishing your mind, body, and spirit this week?
What are you hungry for?
Any mantras to share with the group? Or other practices that are helping you focus?
Before you go, please tap the little ♡. The more people who discover and support this newsletter, the more time I can devote to creating it.
Thank you, from my heart to yours,
Dana
nourishing me is fresh mango, avocado, and lime salsa on everything. I make a batch nearly every day, i'm fully addicted. i'm hungering for more spiritual alone time to feel into being newly engaged, what it means to me, what kind of relationship I hope it flowers. it's not so much a mantra, but I am reassuring myself with lots of, "slowly, slowly, now. gently. quietly." trying to metabolize the big joys and energies with moments of calm <3
This is a clarion call for us to show up fully. I love getting reminders like this, they are like water in the desert sometimes. Reading your essay felt like you were gently holding my head between your palms and turning my head, while saying, "look here".