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Your essay inspired a realization: Without active participation, the core attributes to which I aspire — generosity, humility, compassion, curiosity, whimsy — are but hypothetical. What good are they to me, or to you, if I’m not engaged, present? Awake. Or, as you put it, what do I embody?

It’s too easy for those who communicate through writing, especially long-form writing, to devolve into mere observers — to click ‘post,’ then start composing the next essay — to avoid messy, face-to-face human interactions.

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Absolutely, Gary! So glad you brought up that crucial distinction between embodied values and abstract or aspirational values. Africa addresses this directly in the podcast episode I linked—calling them embodied versus fantasy values and getting clear on those she’s already living and those that she intends to step into more fully.

Your point about writing and writers brings in a new thread, which I greatly appreciate. I do think we can create an impact through our words on the page, which then is an embodiment and action in a way. That impact and action can be an expression and embodiment of our values or not—depending on what we write, how we write, and who we’re in conversation with (i.e., our readers). But big yes to doing more than the "post and run," or mistaking posting our opinion (for example) for embodying our values and taking real action. Long-form or short, I think this is unfortunately far too common.

Thank you as always for your perspective and wisdom, Gary!

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Yes, writing is doing. Your essays are especially engaging — near tactile experiences, as well as spiritual, emotional, cerebral. As always, you leave us much to contemplate. I don’t mean to project my struggles onto you. A minor stroke in 2018 left me unable to speak for much of that year, and I realized I communicated better through my actions than I had with words. So much so, I debated whether to bother relearning the motor memories of speech. Many of us talk about what we believe. Some write of it. Few live it. I come closest when I turn off the words and just do.

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So beautiful and powerful, Gary. Thank you for sharing (and I'd love to read about that experience if you ever feel called to write about it).

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Thanks, Dana. I posted of it just now.

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Wow, Gary. My own words are failing as I try to respond to your essay (which, interestingly, is how I usually experience speaking but not writing). Thank you for sharing this.

Everyone, go read: https://pedalingastronomer.substack.com/p/listening

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I love your honesty and integrity, Dana. (And thank you - right back at you!) As you say, all the core values role up into a spiritual journey, and to that end the goal I am always working on (and failing to achieve constantly) is to be more present for the important people in my life. I strive to be honest (both with others and myself - I say "no" a lot now) and compassionate. Patience is also something I value and need to work on a lot! And even though I say no a lot, I still say yes, too much - mostly to my own crazy desires to do all the things all the time. I take on too much! But the number one thing that keeps me sane (other than not drinking) is being in nature, and I could always have more outdoor time. Thank you for the thought-provoking questions and all your work and writing this year!

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Thank you so much for all that, Susie. And I so hear you on being in nature. When things feel hard, I remind myself to look to the water, sky, and trees. And so glad you mentioned patience, because that’s another quality I value deeply but have very little of! The imagined urgency in my own mind is at least as insistent as the urgency in my online surrounds. Another place of practice… Sending hearts and gratitude to you!

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Dana, I have such an appreciation and so much love for you. Really. Thanks for sharing yourself with us mere mortals, it is really such a privilege x

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Aww. So much love and appreciation right back at you, Tendani. I’m truly grateful that our paths crossed in this space and am sending so many blessings your way. xo

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Thanks so much for the mention, Dana - an honour to be in such brilliant company! Thanks too for this insight into your process, and the invitation to reflect further on our own values. I'll be returning to this post over the next few days as a compass-point in my own end-of-year reflection. Thank you for sharing!

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You’re so welcome, Jane. The honour is mutual, and I feel so buoyed and inspired by your writing and way of being in the world. Thank you!

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I'm honoured to be mentioned here, Dana. I love your work and have such an appreciation for what you do. I'm also very happy to have connected with you here on a soul level, and to have felt your integrity shine through on so many important and hard topics that so many people avoid.

While I've never had a sip of alcohol, I think I've had unhealthy dependencies on all sorts of substances and experiences over the years. It's taken a lot of deep, uncomfortable thinking to recognize some of that and start to work through it. You provide so much insight here that anyone can take away...

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Thank you so much, Noha. I'm truly grateful for connecting with you in this space and to know you're sharing kindred writing on difficult and important issues. So much recognition and appreciation for your voice and presence!

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Dana, thank you for sharing your core values here with us. Since finding you on Substack, I have seen all of them shine through in your work.

Serenity. I sat with that one for a moment. That one popped out for me. I feel that.

Words are so important to me, and I've been playing around with this as I think about what direction I want to take myself in 2024. As far as core values, for me, I would have to say I will lean into intentionality. Tender intentions are what I want to fill my days ahead. I want to be intentional with who I share my time with, with the love I show others, with what words I speak and write, with how I move my body, with how I spend my days and with what I consume (body, mind and spirit). Thank you for this inspiring post. It landed on me at just the right time.

And I am especially grateful for the shout out, here. Thank you, Dana. For all you do to lift us up in this Sober Soulful space.

Now, I'm off to listen to Africa Brooke's podcast before I intentionally limit how many I stream in the New Year ;-)

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Thank you from my heart, Allison. Connecting with you in this space has been a true gift this past year.

And I love that: intentionality. So valuable in these times, when possibilities and options and content feel endless. I was mentioning to Randy the other day that when things come to my inbox (which I’m obsessive about keeping at zero), I give all of them the same weight and focus. Problem comes when this means I don’t get to the most important things until last, or when I can’t give them all the time I’d like because I’ve scattered my focus and energy across everything else. More intentionality would probably mean some things get missed…but other, more important things get fuller attention. Thank you for the inspiration!

And yes! I’m excited for you to listen to Africa Brooke! I think you’ll really appreciate her candour, brilliance, and badassery!

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What a community is blossoming through words in this space. Both a longing and dream fulfilled for me. Love your consistent encouragement and support as well.

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Thank you, Caroline! Both for your kind words and for your writing and way of being in the world!

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Oh thank you for the shout out Dana ❤️ Appreciating your support of my writing and the inspiration of your pieces this year too 🙏 I love your question on values, I will think about it more deeply today, but off the top of my head comes - connection, honesty, integrity, presence and curiosity

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You’re so welcome, Vicki. I appreciate your presence here in the comments and the deep wisdom and care in your own essays so much. Love those values! They absolutely shine through. Hearts to you!

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That's a great list. What about curiosity, or the opposite of rigidity not sure exactly what it is yet but something around that. Curiosity to get my ass of the couch and see what's over there, stay in motion.

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Yes! Love that, Peter.

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Bowing back to you Dana. 🙏

Be at peace when peace is calling. Be inspired when it calls. Be passionate and fierce in all your pursuits. Honor your values. Keep fucking going 🙏💪🏻❤️

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Thank you, Dee. Wishing you much peace, inspiration, and heart-led fierceness in the year ahead! 🙏

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LOVE! That’s my word. It’s both the thing that gets me into trouble and the thing that saves me. It’s the center of the universe!!! Thank you for including me. You’re such an inspiration. Also how is Africa Brooke not 1000 years old? What a mind.

Side note, after reading your piece about running away to Mongolia, I can’t stop thinking about flavorless chewy meat stew🤷🏻‍♀️

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YES! I mean, it truly is everything. Thank you so much for being here and sharing a window into your story, Julie. I feel truly grateful for your presence and honesty and raw, real wisdom.

OMG yes as well on Africa Brooke. I’ve been unable to listen to any other podcast since discovering hers. I’m making my way through episode by episode and find it’s exactly the medicine I need right now. (Even more than tough-meat stew 😂.)

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I'm so happy for you. Congratulations 4 year old. Sending you appreciation and love 🤗✨💖

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Thank you, Charlotte. So much love and light to you!

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🤗✨💖

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I have always loved your writing since the first essay you submitted to Counter Arts and our paths crossed. I see a lot of my own journey in yours and you have a refreshing voice in a sea of angry rants. Please, keep bringing your insights to the world--a lot of people benefit from them!!!

I don't know how to answer this and I'll take it away with me to meditate on. I guess keeping humor and authenticity in the awkwardness and messiness of life???

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Thank you, Carlos. And likewise! Your voice is a bright light shining across these sometimes rough seas. And your writing reflects humor, heart, and authenticity amidst the awkwardness and messiness of being human. So much!

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What a lovely post. My words are humility and kindness. I’m setting sail on calm seas, to bring these into the world with the way I turn up. That will be the way I practice travelling through 2024 😍

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Oh, I love those words, Lucy—and they shine through your writing so fully. Much love and light to you!

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Your voice is one of the ones that adds to the calm and wisdom of this community here on Substack. Reading about your struggles along with your acknowledgement of the simple joys living can bring has been a salve this year. Here's to doing more and better next year!👏🏻

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Thank you so much, JB! I greatly appreciate your presence, wisdom, and wit in these Substack realms!

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Thank you for your including me in this list, Dana, and for your wonderful writing contributions this year.

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You’re so welcome, David. Thank you for your presence in this space!

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